Tribute to a dignified, loving father 

I want to encourage all the children to please write down a few lines for their parents so next generations should learn and follow good things from our forefathers

A father is someone you look up to, no matter what age you are. This story is about a very special father who spent a simple, very polite and very social life raising five children without his spouse who left him 32 years before.

At the same time he was looking after his old parents and taking care of his four younger siblings.

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Our father left this world on 20th January 2022, after bravely fighting cancer. He had won his battle of last stage lung cancer but lost his life to pneumonia. We all find in him a tremendously brave man.

He raised his children and made them able to live an educated, healthy and prosperous life. A father who taught his children all the good things and discipline. His strongest belief was, earn Halal RIZK (rozi) and never go for illegitimate ways to earn and spend, even if the circumstances are tough and worst. He had retired as an assistant director in the food department in 2011 after completing 40 years of service.

I would have never understood the legal and illegal use of powers of government officers until I experienced it while working with different entities in the government.

I want to share with you that being an officer in the government entity he never brought his official vehicle at home, so that his children should not raise demands.

We have not seen him receiving gifts or letting his family receive gifts from his office. He lived whole life in rented houses with his children, parents and siblings until 15 years ago when he constructed his own home.

He was only 37 years old when his wife left him with five kids in the age bracket of 5 to 10. He had a lot of pressure from family and friends to get married again but he refused and said it might create trouble for his children and in future he might lose his kids socially and morally, so he chose to live alone even after all his children were married.

His responsibilities did not stop here, he was still looking after three daughters and two sons after their education, arranging their marriages and settling their lives.

He was still teaching them ethics, so that they become honest, hard working, caring and practical in their lives.  He was a very honest man, no one had ever witnessed him talking at the back of people. I personally think this is the most significant aspect of his nature, honest and transparent, self-made and dignified man.

He always wanted to write a book about food department issues in Pakistan though his dream couldn’t come true, yet one day maybe one of us, his children, would fulfill his dream.

Let me share a very interesting thing about him, he had more than 4000 people in his mobile contact list and he would call them all alphabetically, so no one should be missed, that also means everyone will be contacted after three to four days.

The only purpose of calling such a long list of family and friends was just to know if they are fine and if they needed any help. This does not include all his children, his siblings and their spouses whom he used to call every day or sometimes more than once. There was not a no single day when he would not call all his children and his siblings, not only this, our spouses were equally treated with love and respect.

“Chaudhry Sahib this house will remain incomplete and hollow without you,” says one of his brother Sarwar Bari

“We lost a very good friend no one calls us and discuss about current affairs with like he used to do”, says one of son in-law Irshad Rana

“Every morning, I wake up and think today he will call me,” remarked his son Khyyam Hussain Bari

“I always look at my phone screen and feel he will be calling me today,” says another of his brother Mohsin Bari

“My day would start with Chaudhry Sahib’s call and end with his call,” younger brother Anwar Bari recalled his memories.

“There is no single day when Abu was not asking me if I needed anything and I used to smile, in response he would smile, his smile, his voice, his presence is no where any more in home,” Yasir Hussain Bari the elder son remarked.

“He was my father, I lost my father years ago but got another one after coming to this home, I lost him and this gap will never be filled now,” says his daughter in law Nadia Yasir Bari

These are comments from a few of his family members.  He was our strength, encouragement, our friend and a great man with a lot of love. He would always tell us, don’t do bad things with others if you can’t help them for good.

He used to do his chores himself and we never heard from him that he is sick or not well, even when he was hospitalized every time we asked about his health, and the prompt answer was always, “I’m fine”.

On the day of his departure to the heavenly abode, we met several people who we had never met before. They were crying and telling different stories about how my father had been taking care of their families for a long time.

Many children in such families were going to school because of Muhammad Hussain Bari

Many daughters were being supported for different things including education, wedding things by my father. Many disputes were settled by him.

I have written this about my father Ch. Muhammad Hussain Bari, not because he was my father, but because of his unique personality which included honesty and care for others above everything.

How many of us are teaching the basic ethics of life to our kids like he did. He always said, monetary things are temporary, the long lasting thing is doing something good for others. This was the goal of his life and he succeeded in that.

I want to encourage all the children to please write down a few lines for their parents so next generations should learn and follow good things from our forefathers.

Our parents never die after they leave us, they are very much with us all the time. We keep thinking and talking about them with people and with ourselves.

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