BY SAMIA ASIM
While staying together for a long time under one roof, sometime gives you hard challenges viz-a-viz tolerance.
It mostly happens, that tolerance helps you to maintain a healthy relation with the person who matter in your life. However, we often see and experience in our life that usually keep on tolerating and holding grudges for a lengthy time harms your relationship.
We have seen many people who display tolerance as they were taught by their elders to keep quiet.
“Countless studies have shown that holding grudges and keeping negative feelings is bad for your mental health, increasing anxiety and frustration,” says Meyers. I am not against the conventional thinking where females are supposed to be quiet and tolerate enough towards their life partners.
The point which I want to highlight here is how to make a healthy, happy relationship with your partner while having differences in habits and ideologies.
Few days ago, I was in the kitchen, cleaning the floor mess which was done by my younger son. Meanwhile, I was instructing all my boys and husband, not to enter the in kitchen. But my son entered the kitchen, and he was about to slip over the floor when it asked him to go out, in harsh way. He kept quiet and left the kitchen. I felt sorry for being rude to him.
In mutual relations, staying calm definitely works, gives your partner space. According to Dr. Gary Brown, a prominent couples’ therapist in Los Angeles, “a growing number of grudges and resentments can really weaken your relationship”.
As far as my married life experience is concerned, I would suggest to overlook mistakes of the life partner especially when you got hurt. When you feel it’s getting harder to ignore, communicate with your partner in a friendly mood. Healthy communication plays a significant role in removing misunderstanding between couples or in any relationships.
Talk to your partner and explain your concerns which bother you before it touches bitterness. Dr. Brown says, “Once you’ve reached the point of hostility, it is extremely difficult to get back unless you and your partner find a way to work it out.”
I read a quote somewhere, “Love Is A Two-Way Street”. love is ever been described as a two-way however, it’s so true in friendship, marriage or in any relationship because two strange people come from two different backgrounds, and living under same roof so, both partners must have to put their efforts to smooth their relationship.
We are human beings, we all commit mistakes, we can make things better by going for effective communication, giving space to each other, allowing partner to vent anger, ignoring partner’s negligence. All these would help you to kick out negativity and bring positivity in your relationship which obviously has an impact on your children’s behavior as well.
(Samia Asim is BBA (hons) in marketing and finance. She is living in Jeddha for the last 10 years. She is a passionate writer. She can be reached at asimsamia96@gmail.com)
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