Late one summer evening, a man sits in his living room sipping a cup of whiskey, he gets in his car and drives to a canyon just half an hour drive from his home.
He stops the car at the side of the road, just a walk from a stream, and with a flashlight and screwdriver, unscrews the car’s registration. He throws them in a stream. He pours petrol on the car and throws a lighter on it.
The car catches fire, he walks away the burning embers and hikes up to the highest point on the canyon and stands at the edge. This was where his wife used to come. He stares at the ocean of stars, for a moment he loses himself. He is perplexed and scared and yet thinks about his life. He is going to kill himself.
Before he could jump, a cool breeze touches his face like a lover’s hand. He hears a woman saying, “Hello there.” A little startled, he looks back just to see a woman in white dress and white hair. She looked old but pretty.
He says back, “Hi there, what are you doing out here?” She replies back jokingly, “What are you doing out here this late?” the man replies, “Oh I just wanted to clear my head a little and enjoy the view.” She replies, “You’re awfully close to the edge to clear your head.” The man repeats with a little bit of frustration, “I said I just wanted to clear my head.” The woman replies, “Oh okay” and she turns around and starts walking away.
The man gets scared that she’ll leave him and no one will be able to save him. He shouts, “Hey wait! Why are you out here so late?” She responds, “You tell.” The man says, “I just wanted to clear my head, why won’t you believe me.” She replies, “I don’t think that’s why you’re here.” And she starts walking away again.
The man nervously says, “I’m here to kill myself.” She replies, “Why?” and he says, “Because I’m fed up with my life; it has so many problems.” She says, “Doesn’t every life though.” The man says, “My life is more so, I’m fed up with living mediocre; I hate Mondays, sitting in traffic, no one is a real friend, all my co-workers are fake, I drive an old car that’s falling apart, or should I say that at the moment, it’s in flames. I can’t succeed. Life feels so hard.” The woman comes close to him and whispers something but before he can figure out, she pushes him off.
The man wakes up a little startled and thinks about the terrible dream he had, but just like most of the dreams, he soon forgets. He goes about his day; checks the news, everything is good. He goes outside to see the grass smelling like it’s the first spring in the universe. Everyone is smiling and happy. He drives a good car, goes to a good job, life is easy and happy.
A year goes by, and on a clear summer evening, the man sits in his living room drinking a cup of coffee. Once he is done, he gets in his car and drives off to a canyon just half an hour drive away. He stops the car at the side of the road near a stream, with a screwdriver and flashlight, he takes off the car’s registration plates and throws them in the stream. He sprinkles petrol on the car and sets it ablaze.
He doesn’t feel bad for destroying an expensive car. He hikes to the highest point on the canyon and stares off into the ocean of stars, but he feels nothing. He hears the voice of a woman. He is not startled. She says to him, “What are you doing out here?” He replies bluntly, “I intend to kill myself.” She says, “Why though?” He says, “Life feels meaningless, it’s so easy, you don’t have to work for anything. I envy a life where I’d have to work towards my goals, it would give this life a meaning.”
The woman comes close to him and whispers in his ear, “I hope you see it this time.” And she pushes him off. The Perfect amount of bad makes a utopia. Human nature is flawed; it is never happy in any state.
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