BY MARIUM TARIQ
“You are too rational for your own self, just focus on the positive things happening in your life. Let’s just hope, how can you predict it already?” are some of the sentences which people with negative thoughts hear quite often.
What they are not told is that negativity is not always a choice, it is an involuntary action and sometimes inevitable.
People with monotonous negative thoughts are blamed for the situation they are facing. They are said to be stubborn and rigid in their decisions. Some folks even say that people with such thoughts want to stay in this abyss and see the world with dark sight. So that they can seek empathy and make people believe that they are living a miserable life.
A lot of people find it better to put on a fake mask of enthusiasm and armour of positive thoughts where as a few of them are compelled to seek help from a therapist. When they finally decide and muster up the courage to talk about their thoughts with their therapists, what they receive as counseling is even worse.
They are repeatedly told by the therapists, friends and family that negativity is a choice and they can change it anytime. They force them to believe that you have always have a choice; you are not just choosing the right one. The people around them tell them that they are ruining precious moments of life by such thinking. They tell them to do meditation, yoga or hit a gym. They are asked to change their friend circle and if they have a negative influence in their life, leave them.
Write a journal and reward yourself after doing a task. People believe that by doing such things and having a better lifestyle, the negative thoughts will eventually be replaced by the positive ones. The constant pressure of making the right choice and looking at things with a different perspective leads them towards more dreadful thoughts.
That result in anxiety, depression and even more terrible is suicidal thoughts. They start believing that there life will not ever get better, things will remain the same way they are. They consider themselves awful and worthless humans as they cannot have happy thoughts or be positive for even once in their life.
A mere compliment is taken negative by them as they believe that people are either faking it or having some motive behind such nice words. They realize that everyone is disappointed in them. Their friends and family members get tired of helping them to be positive. Eventually, this vicious cycle of thoughts results in suicide.
What everyone fails to understand and those who know ignore the fact is that negativity is not always a choice. Some people are genetically inclined to see the world darkly. Adam k. Anderson, associate professor of human development is continuing his research with fellow scientists on emotions, genetics and perception.
Their study stated that there is a gene causing some individuals to perceive emotional events – especially negative ones – more acutely than others. This gene is ADRA2b deletion variant. People with this gene variant perceive negative words more likely than others.
These individuals may be more likely to pick out angry faces in a crowd of people,” says Rebecca M. Todd of UBC’s Department of Psychology. “Outdoors, they might notice potential hazards – places you could slip, loose rocks that might fall – instead of seeing the natural beauty.” Hence, the study proves that if a person is constantly having negative thoughts and is living his life with such perspective then it is not in his control nor is his fault. So, one should not continuously impose their suggestions and advices without knowing the actual cause.
People need to stop making rude comments and remarks such as “You cannot be positive for even once in your life.” “You are destroying your life by your own hands.” As a result, they either isolate themselves from everyone or take their life because of this nagging.
At the same time, it is important to realize and differentiate between a person who is negative because of a certain situation or an experience and a person who is genetically negative.
(Marium Tariq is a student at National University of Modern Languages in Islamabad. She can be reached at mariumtariq51@gmail.com)
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